I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
