So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
