goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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