why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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