i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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