Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
