i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
