Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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