with your own penis?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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