True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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