I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think my fart just growled at me.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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