i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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