Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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