Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize