im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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