Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i dont even know how to be here
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
