U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
