Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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