Those balls look pretty dangerous.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
