erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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