Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
