Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
