Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
