She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
