your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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