you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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