Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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