so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
