I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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