There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
