Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
