This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
