i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
