Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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