i just google imaged poop.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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