why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
