This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
