Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
