At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
