I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
