Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
