Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
