We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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