I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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