i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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