I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
