why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
