never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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