saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
