i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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