The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
