I love black thongs
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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