Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize