Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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