I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
