Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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