And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
