i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
