look no pants
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
