This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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