Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
