So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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