i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
