First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
