Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
