I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Blow job season was short but glorious.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
