They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
