So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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