Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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