And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
