Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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