Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
