Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize