So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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