Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
