isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
