I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
