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i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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