Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize