Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
