Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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