I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
