Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
