508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
