My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
