Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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