White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
